coping methods – Suicide Forum

Distraction Mechanisms in a Crisis

Butterfly — Sat, 09 Jul 2016 16:24:37 +0000

As I write this article, I would probably class myself as being in crisis. It’s a horrible place to be and it feels like no matter how hard I try, I cannot feel better. I have been told by the Crisis Team to distract as much as possible. This advice frustrates a lot of people because they cannot see how distraction is going to “cure” them of their suicidal/manic thoughts. It’s not designed to take all that pain away or make things better. Distraction serves as a short term solution to help you slow your thoughts down and focus on something else for a short while until meds can kick in that will help you feel better and until your crisis passes.

So what distraction mechanisms help me?

Writing

If I am in the early throws of a crisis, where my thoughts are racing but I have not hit an agitated state to the point of being useless then I find writing useful. I am writing this article now to channel all of my excess energy (I have Bipolar and currently in a mixed episode) but it has also helped me in the past to channel severe depressive and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I write about how I am feeling. Other times I write about a topic completely unrelated to how I am feeling. I have written some amazing things whilst in crisis, and when I read them back I cannot believe that I have written them.

Reading

If you are able to concentrate for long enough then reading is a god distraction. It enables you to escape reality for a little while and can help slow the thoughts down for a while.

Drawing/colouring

Using art to distract your mind in a crisis is fast becoming a popular distraction technique. I cannot draw, but I do have a mindfulness colouring book and I also have a colouring app. It’s a technique that doesn’t require much thought and you can just focus on what you are doing, colouring within the lines, which colour you are going to pick next etc. I used to laugh when people suggested this to me because my initial reaction was that it was a bit childish, but since trying it, it is now one of my first “go to” distraction techniques.

Having a bath/Aromatherapy

This is usually one of the crisis team’s suggestions which really frustrates a lot of people. But it does serve a purpose. If you own lots of nice bubble baths and bath salts, the scents and smells tend to have calming effect, especially if you have things like lavender and chamomile scents. I also light candles too as I find the smells relaxing and quite often I stop to think “that smells nice” and reflect upon what I can smell for a short period, often without realising I am doing it.

Playing games

I am a little biased towards this one as I am a gamer, although I do struggle to play some games whilst I am agitated. But I find games like solitaire or bejewelled useful because they are only short games, but do require a degree of concentration. Sometimes I get frustrated and give up, but other times it’s enough to slow my mind down.

Cleaning

As much as I hate cleaning, it is a good distraction. I can do it at my own pace and it doesn’t require much thinking or skill. When I am cleaning I tend to focus on what I am doing, rather than my mind wandering off at a tangent.

Baking

There is something about baking that is extremely therapeutic. I’m not sure if it’s getting stuck in and dirty, whisking violently or following instructions, but after a baking session I am always a lot calmer. A very tasty way to end a crisis.

Watching TV/Movies

I would avoid anything triggering at all costs. But if there is a TV show you like to watch, or you have a favourite movie then I would recommend this. This is a great distraction technique as it requires very little effort. There is something comforting about watching your favourite movie whilst snuggled under a blanket in your pyjamas.

Going for a walk

If you feel up to it and safe enough, I find walking a good distraction. It helps to clear your mind and also gets you out of the house and active. Because you are moving about, you release endorphins which are the “feel good” hormone. You can also focus on what is happening around you, whether it’s just noticing the buildings, the hustle and bustle of your town or admiring the view.

Exercise

Exercise releases endorphins which is the “feel good” hormone. It can also help you relieve some of that pent up rage and emotion.

Mindfulness

This is great way to bring you back into the present rather than being consumed by your thoughts. There are many exercises to try such as deep breathing, body scanning, guided imagery and focusing on objects.

Pets

If you have pets then a great way to distract yourself is give them some fuss and love. Pets love attention and they also have a way of sensing when you are not feeling well. It’s very therapeutic.

Talking to People

One of the best techniques for distraction is talking to people – someone to chat to, to take your mind away from the distressing thoughts can be incredibly helpful. The SF chat room is open and free 24/7, 365 days a year. There is almost always someone there ready to chat with.

5 Ways to Cope with Impulse Control Disorder

Nexia — Sat, 09 Jul 2016 14:24:57 +0000

For those that are unaware, an ICD (or impulse control disorder) is a psychiatric disorder that doesn’t allow much, or any, control over an urge to do something that results in hurting themselves or others. As someone who suffers from this disorder I’ve decided to help others figure out what to do when they are going through an urge they feel they can’t control.

Before listing a few ways to cope, please understand that an ICD can come in many forms (not just hurting yourself or others in a physical way) such as Kleptomania, Pathological Gambling, Trichotillomania, Pyromania, Intermittent explosive disorder, Compulsive Skin Picking and even Compulsive Buying (explained in detail here).

Without further ado, here are five ways to help cope with your urges:

Tap Your Fingers Together

As simple as this is, simply pressing the pads of your fingers against your thumb one at a time can help with small urges (such as wanting to push something off of a shelf in a store or break something).

The ol’ Counting Method

This still works for small urges! Pick your favorite number and begin counting either out loud or to yourself- whichever you find more comfortable. This method helps when you are standing in a line and are tempted to do something you most likely shouldn’t do.

Play Music or Listen to Ambient Sounds

Again, something so simple to solve a problem can be a major benefit. Just as music can be used as motivation to get something done, it can be a great factor in stopping something bad from happening. Using music to take your mind off of something is not unknown, but in the moment, a lot of people are by themselves and in a crisis that can trigger an urge of self-harm. Music can calm you down as well as listening to the sound of rain or thunderstorms.

Play with Magnets

Magnets are usually used for refrigerator decorations, bumper stickers and even science. On the other hand, if you need a physical touch of something other than your own fingers to help you out of an urge, playing with magnets that can go anywhere with you is a huge plus. I play with Zen Magnets and use them to keep myself from touching things that I shouldn’t touch (such as the button on someone else’s shirt or someone else’s pens or pencils).

Submerge your Hands into Something Messy

The point of these coping tips are to keep your mind busy enough to get you out of a situation. A lot of times you need to physically do something with your hands to keep you from acting on an urge. This is where I would recommend getting your hands dirty with Oobleck, Kinetic Sand, mud (yes, dirt and water). Keeping your hands dirty [or at least busy] will take your mind off of whatever your urge is most of the time. It keeps your mind at ease and you can have a ton of fun!

There are a ton of ways to keep from acting on an intense or minor urge. As a bonus, another way to help you deal with an urge can be to let someone know you are having these urges. There are people out there who can help you; doctors, friends, family and on occasion- strangers nearby. Sometimes we need all the help we can get. If you or someone you know is going through what might be ICD or compulsive behaviors go to a doctor as this isn’t incurable and it could be a simple matter of just staying busy to help you or someone else through it.

Does Talking Really Help?

Member Submission — Thu, 25 Feb 2016 10:46:59 +0000

Everybody says that people should talk about problems and not bottle them up. Is that good advice? According to both old adages and modern psychologists the answer is a clear yes. Talking through things that are bothering a person allows them to define the problem, keep it in perspective, and look at it more objectively. When people keep all their problems and emotions bottled up it can cause additional stress and may cause all the problems to run together as the mind tries to jump from one to the other until they seem endless and insurmountable.

Talking can allow valuable input from others on how to deal with situations. It allows the person talking to get the benefit of both experience and knowledge of others in processing problems and issues when the listener gives feedback. Even just affirmation that it is a legitimate problem or feeling has value. The sharing of problems very often gives a feeling of having lessened the burden some because once it is shared there is a perception that you are not alone with the issue anymore.

So why is it so hard to talk about problems and feelings? Social pressures and stigmas can make some feel weak or needy if they talk about things. The urge to be self-reliant is very strong in many people and even kindled by cultural expectations. Even if one can overcome the cultural or learned social expectations, there are still ramifications about some issues.

Talking about money problems could lead others to believe the person is not responsible or even untrustworthy. Talking about feelings may make others feel they are over sensitive or “too uptight”. Whether people like to admit it or not, even while they tell people to talk about their problems, when the person does finally open up there are far too often real unintended real world ramifications to the way others see them or feel about them. It only takes a couple episodes of negative responses for a person to decide the risk of talking outweighs the potential benefit.

Where professional counselors and therapists come in is they allow the positive benefits of sharing the problems and feelings without the same potential social risks. Moreover, they are trained in how to guide conversations to be more productive, and to see past smaller issues to the larger underlying issues.

An oversimplified example might be the problem wasn’t the spouse forgot to pick up some grocery items on the way home that caused the person to feel like they are in a doomed relationship, the real problem is they feel like they are never listened to or that the person does not care about their needs or desires in general.

From this point the trained professional might help a person go through a logical list of examples where the spouse has done these things many times or that it is actually infrequent and allow a person to determine if the reaction is justified or not, and in that manner to cope with the feelings better; or the opposite and see the reason the person was so upset about a small thing was it is in fact a small example of a recurring much larger problem, so while the specific thing was small, they were correct in being alarmed overall and not over-reacting.

While having a trained professional is a great support, not all have access to counselors and therapists, and it is not reasonable to be able to get a professional for everything that comes up a person might want to discuss. Many people in the world simply do not have a large enough support network of trustworthy friends or family to listen to them. Some issues also have too high of social risk to for many to feel comfortable talking about to friends or family.

If topics like depression and anxiety carry a high social risk, then how does one discuss self-harm like cutting, or actual suicidal thoughts without feeling like they are seriously risking the relationship and trust of their friends and family? If somebody has suicidal thoughts on a frequent basis or has been suffering from depression for a long period of time they cannot see a professional every time a negative thought enters their mind. Friends and family often have no experience in listening and offering feedback on these issues, so that silence comes across as not caring and may make it feel like sharing was a mistake.

Use of anonymous peer support groups has been proven very effective for many people in dealing with the harder problems and feelings. Everything from addiction to suicidal thoughts has peer groups that will allow people talk to others that have had similar experiences so are not judgmental, and the anonymous nature relieves the social risk of disclosure. Also peer support groups allow far more frequent help than professional services. They fulfill the vital role of sharing thoughts and feelings while relieving the burden of feeling alone, without social risk to the person that is sharing. It is a chance to talk to people that actually understand the feelings and problems because they have had similar feelings or issues currently or in the past. It allows one to not only have a chance to talk, but to be listened to and understood as well.

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Creating a Suicide Safety Plan

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2016 18:38:56 +0000

Being in the grip of suicidal thoughts and feelings can be terrifying. You may be unable to think clearly, remembering only pain from your past and unable to imagine anything good ever happening in your future. That’s why it’s helpful to have a suicide safety plan in place before you find yourself desperate. The purpose of the plan is to give you some concrete steps to follow to keep yourself safe when you feel like you can’t go on any longer.

Start creating your plan at a moment when you’re still capable of feeling some hope, and have some belief that life is worth living. If you can’t imagine feeling that way, then get someone who cares about you and knows you well to help. Start by writing down a collection of warning signs that you are starting to become severely depressed and suicidal. These warning signs will help you and others recognize when you are likely to need extra support. Examples of warning signs might be, “Withdrawing from friends and family,” or “loss of interest in hobbies.”

Next, write down a list of coping strategies that you can use to make yourself feel a bit better. Some people take a hot shower, or cuddle with a pet, or take a walk. The goal isn’t to make you feel all the way better immediately. There may be nothing that can do that. The point is to give you some things to try before you give up completely. Sometimes even feeling a tiny bit better can be enough to take your mind off suicide.

The next step is to write down the names and phone numbers of family and friends who might be able to help you when you are suicidal. You might want to call and talk to these people first and ask them if you can put them on your emergency list. If you know ahead of time that it’s okay to call someone at two in the morning when you’re at the end of your strength, then you won’t feel reluctant to call when you’re in crisis.

Finally, write a list of professional people you can call in case of emergency, along with their phone numbers. Include your doctor, counselor if you have one, and the number for the local hospital. Again, it’s a good idea to find out ahead of time what will happen if you call after hours. You don’t want to be stuck talking to an answering machine if you’re in crisis!

Share your suicide safety plan with supportive people who are close to you, so they know how to take care of you if you become suicidal. Keep it with you in your purse or wallet. If you’re worried about someone finding it and judging you, just don’t label it “Suicide Safety Plan.” Call it something like “Important Phone Numbers.”

If suicidal thoughts and feelings strike, keep going step by step through your plan until you feel safe.