Jim's Cafe - Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Hello SF family, I hope this finds you well as can be.

What is something new or interesting you've found out recently?

@Lisa the Goatgirl @Baywasp @FFurry @JMG @seabird @Inastorm @Auri

Hi SF I send a wide wish we, all of us having a very rough time, could all be doing better. Thank you @Angie for opeining the door to today's café. ☕️

I found a new-to-me topic, a variety of diving that's very old, which is diving without tanks of oxygen or air lines. Meaning one big breath, then dive down into the ocean. Some peoples can hold their breath long enough to hunt for food. I'll be watching a movie that's coming out soon about the competitive side of it. It is the research into some indigenous people's way of life, living close to and often in the sea, which orignally interested me. I'm going to enjoy the documentary (except for sad parts which were warned about, I might skip those). 🩵

@Angie thanks for opening the cafe and tagging me in.

I have found out recently i might be autistic and have been given a personality disorder diagnosis.

Im going through a lot of changes at the moment with the break down of my relationship. But im starting to view things through the lens of this new information, so everything is pretty surreal at the moment.

But.. even if the information/news maybe isnt the kind of thing everyone would find interesting, i do love learning new information, even if its a difficult subject matter.

Sone tags

@puffymilk @AvidFan @maybeicanheal @bubblebear @Witty_Sarcasm @Lane @1964dodge @SillyOldBear @Mid Night @may71 @AmberMarie @Reality @Shinzon1 @cinnnamonflakez @Citizen Insane @LumberJack @Licorice @Lifeisthis @JanisSPK @Inanimate @ClassicsFan @Bergerac @full @KM76710 @Atreides @HappyKitty @DowntheRabbitHole @cymbele @Fbr27 @cinnnamonflakez @jess♡ @Butterfly

Thanks to @Angie for opening and tagging me.

This one has been sort of a gradual realisation i've been coming to over the last few months, but the thing i've found out is that you are not responsible for other people's reactions to your feelings.

It's not your duty to suppress parts of yourself because knowing about them might make other people uncomfortable. You are responsible for your own feelings, nobody else's, and vice versa, they are responsible for their own feelings.

I'm not saying don't be polite or make efforts to be diplomatic. Like, this isn't me saying to tell your friends who are new parents "Good lord your baby is ugly!" But if you feel like you have to stifle who you really are to make other people happy, that's not actually true. If something makes you uncomfortable, say it. If something triggers some kind of inner turmoil for you, express that you're going through that turmoil. If something makes you feel good and right with the world, share it loud, proud, and unapologetically.

If you respect the people around you as equals, then the only thing you truly owe to them is to treat them as equals, by letting them into your inner world, however much or little you'd actually want. And if you don't understand what your inner world is, right now that's part of your inner world, and that's what you need to let them in on. It's ok to say "i don't actually know how i'm feeling, even though i'm sure i'm feeling something about this."

You may notice i didn't apologise for how long this post is. I got tempted, but i'm not responsible if it bothers you how long it is, you are. Deal with it.

Just want to say, as someone else on the spectrum, i always find it fascinating when people realise they may have an ASD. That can be a cornerstone in coming to understand yourself, and why you are the person you are. Not knowing that means you're always playing at a disadvantage. And the same goes for other potential diagnoses, like this personality disorder. So finding that out can be absolutely life-changing.

So pleased for you that you understand yourself better now, and proud of you that you channelled the break-down of your relationship into personal growth. It can be so hard to do, but times like this can be perfect for re-evaluating your entire life.

Thanks for opening a cafe and tagging me Angie, cool theme/question too.

I can’t really think of something new I’ve learned lately, other than some new words that I’ve already forgotten lol. My memory has never really been that good, and lately seems to be a bit worse. That is probably cos of summer though, I don’t do well with the heat at all. Also, I haven’t really been reading much non-fiction lately, just fiction. I should try to read at least a couple non-fiction books in the next month or 2 though.

Hope you and everyone else are well and that you have a nice day

What is something new or interesting you've found out recently?


I found a photo of my grandfather when he was young I guess. And a photo of my great-grandfather when he was very old.

I also find out that I possibly have a remnant of the evolution of fish into mammals in my body (preauricular sinus).

Thank you - I think you might be talking to a future version of myself though, as it doesnt feel channelled on purpose. As I kind of feeling like i'm being pushed into it, rather than willing to be on this path. Apart of me is heavily resisting personal growth at the moment, as I'm not wanting to let go of the relationship but at the same time things like this diagnosis is happening to me, if I like it or not.

This brought to my mind the world champion free diver Marina Kazankova (interesting first name). However, the only reason I know of this sport is through a rock video by a group known as Highly Suspect. it was almost exactly 10 years ago: https://www.promonews.tv/videos/2015/07/31/highly-suspect-lydia-t-s-r/35723

I started to get better in therapy when I started SE, which is based on a theory that the vagus nerve can be used to mitigate trauma responses and eventually train ourselves back to feeling safe in the present, instead of the PTSD habit of always reacting to stuff in the past. Since I have got better with that, the dorsal vagal response is something I would like to have control over, and it seems like free divers are the most practiced in that skill. The dorsal vagus nerve is what divers use (consciously or not) to slow the heart rate, etc so that the body consumes less oxygen deep underwater. Same story with whales, btw. Anyway, I can only hold my breath for 30 seconds in the best case, and I would like to get stronger with that.

Thanks for opening @Angie -- Great idea for a cafe...now to think of something...I learned how to clean glass shower walls without harsh chemicals. Yes as a retiree it doesn't take much to entertain me... lol.

tagging @Bergerac @Shadowlands @seabird @Lane @Innocent Forever @Witty_Sarcasm @nobodyknows71 @may71 @1964dodge

Yes. It's amazing and terrible that my trauma keeps playing out over and over. One starts to question what the f time actually is, how far can we push neuroplasticity, and whether humans will ever learn to mitigate our tendency towards violence. But I am digressing.
This SE is what a therapist, (someone I talked to only temporarily), recommended I do, but haven't yet found anyone offering it around here. I have read a bit about it, back when I was having panic attacks while driving my car, due to ptsd about something I don't want to talk about here. Anyway, instead of the SE, what I found was several effective self-regulating actions in a little book called Soar. It's geared toward fear of flying, which doesn't apply to me, but the simple exercises are applicable to almost anything which triggers panic &/or high anxiety. The ocean calms me and I would like to move back to the edge of this continent or where I used to live and find a place, so to prove to myself I still exist.
And, thank you to @Lisa the Goatgirl for not apologizing, reminding me not to do it either. : )

I have found out that if you drop an eyeball from 5 floors, it will bounce and not break because of the protective fibrous layer. (See the experiment yourself.)

I learned that processing speed is slower than I thought.

Thank you for opening Angie and tags Inastorm & Kiwi. Cool topic.

Octopuses are older than dinosaurs.
They have 3 hearts and blue blood.
Can navigate mazes, solve problems, remember solutions and take things apart for fun.

I learned that we forget dreams within minutes of waking up. 😴⏰😲😐🤔

I know some of these are quite well known lol, but thought I’d share it here anyway, it has some interesting info

Koala Bears are the mammal that sleeps the most. Even more than cats.

Octopus are fascinating creatures, I read where one in a zoo spat water at a light that was bothering him, he succeeded in shorting the light out but also the electricity in half the zoo!