I wish be free of bullying memories.

That.
Sometimes i'm feel "FINALLY THAT MEMORIES DONT HURT ME ANYMORE!¡¡¡¡!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!" and then, I back with the same pain from that memories.
And I know some people will tell me "its bc recovery takes time buddy"
I remember when I spoke with someone about this like, 3 years ago and that person told me things like "dont worry, with the time you will know how to cope with it" but in reality, its tired try and try to cope with it.
But I'm tired of that, you know, when while im growing up that memories just are worst.

The only thing I try to do when im feeling so broken for that memories again, I'm trying to breathe so deep and try to follow just like that. But that, it's tired try the same and the same...
My only wish this time has been just not have that memories, its what I want.

know the feeling i can only offer a listening ear and hugs take care of yourself @miniduck_13

Ty bulbasaur, I didnt expect support from one of the best pokemons. (Not sarcasm btw)

You are welcome Do you get flashbacks from bullying that can be very difficult to cope with?

YES EXACTLY THAT.
Painful memories what I wish not have from years of bullying, if I could not have anymore bullying memories my life would progress more fast.
I can be doing good and then the next minute my piece of apple brain show me how was my life in presential school.

Is it anxiety that comes along with your flashbacks do you notice any physical changes like change in your heart beat or feel dizzy if you notice these signs its probably a good idea to take a deep breath n maybe try mediate through it n visualize something else if thats possible or try grounding it can help

Yeh man, I has been trying breathe deep when that thing happen me. But sometimes its hard remember breathe deep because like my brain focus in another billion things.... But breathe deep definitely help sometimes!

Hey @miniduck_13
I am sorry you've had to go though the bullying experience. I have been there, been bullied for most of my childhood/teenage years and of course it has left me scars that will remain indefinitely. There is not an exact magical recipe to forget about it completely, certain things will trigger uncomfortable feelings but what you can do when it happens, is to accept that was just in the past and it belongs to that. The past cannot be changed but also cannot hurt you because, as the word says, it is the PAST. It hasn't defined you, you are not whatever people have labeled you, you have survived all that, you are living your life now. I understand it is too much too ask, although try to forgive. Forgiveness sets you free. I wish you all the best and take care

I know how you feel.

Just like yourself, I too, have memories of being bullied that I'm still haunted by, even to this day.

I was horrendously bullied at school, this was a long time ago but it's not something you forget. Can I say to anyone that this has happened to get help from a therapist as soon as you can, this sort of thing wasn't available when it happened to me, or I certainly didn't know about it. It can literally mess up your whole life, but I promise if you talk about it, it will be better than not doing.

I was bullied by basically everyone when i was a child so i can relate to those "i can't be free of this memories" feelings. That events of bullying and other things that happened during the same age made me develop a severe social anxiety, low self-esteem, a negative vision of life in general and (i suspect) certain traits of avoidant personality.
The fun thing about this is that i always ask to myself: "Will i be able to forget these memories someday?" "I'm sure i would be more happy if i could just forget everything" but my mind ends taking me back to the exact memories that make feel like trash. It's almost like my own mind doesn't want me to be happy. Quite odd way of mental self harm i guess.

Hello, are you going to therapy? Over there they can teach you how to let these things go. When you feel upset, you may try some of the easy self-soothing exercises that are under the trauma link in my signature.

Glad you joined here and welcome. Sad to hear how things have been for you when younger and I wish that things will improve for you but this is a place where you can express yourself and join in with others and perhaps find and receive comfort and support.

They thrive on insecurities so try to be kind to yourself like you’d be to others.

Conscientiousness is what is interesting.
Abundance— which I take to be the good that’s intangible should be more of a right than a privilege.
Resilience— it can mean skimming through a self help book.

Sometimes talking about is not an easy thing and listening is better, still it can really help.

I’m numb to the pain. I accomplished it with baking, art, and a trip to pick up the mail. They should think I am crazy busy. The smallest amount of better health is the best thing I could have asked for.

I am starting to see her assaulting me in 2017 and stalking me to this day doesn’t mean anything. Same with their non phone etiquette. The concussion from skate and surf I didn’t ask for hurt. It mattered to me my mom, my ex boyfriend, no one seemed to care.

I would actually give you a totally different reason for why those memories come back. It's because when you think about them NOT being there, it's essentially the exact same thing as you thinking about them being there. So in other words, when you think, "oh, I'm glad so and so isn't on my mind anymore," you're making it come up in your mind once again. The best way to deal with this is not to think about what you don't want, but rather think about what you do want, which in this case should be something along the lines of "I expect to be treated fairly by others, the same way that I treat them fairly". This type of belief has nothing to do with your bullying memories. Hence, they won't come up. But if you believe instead, "I expect not to be bullied anymore" (do you see how that is still essentially a negative statement?) then you're going to think about bullying and feel crappy. That's unfortunately how our brains work. It's complicated and kind of stupid at times.

I’m so very tired.

i feel ya i was bullied for a short term, isolated through Ms n Hs coupled with fam baggage n workplace trauma.

Each day I'm like im free the next day. The pain and memories come back. So you're right. Usually in cases of time will only heal it. It takes decades or it never properly heals. It just sucks to live with it. I am proud of you for still struggling with it though. It's a sign that shows you are ready to move on.

I’m really tired.