Bullying and the internet

I normally don't use social media. When I did use facebook, I found myself connected to a lot of people I didn't really want to hear about and those kind of 'friends' aren't actually friends. However, there is a messageboard that I belonged to for a long time and I stopped posting at the end of last year. It was a good place to discuss some subjects, but I also found that people misinterpret, overreact, and generally are not very respectful of each other. Well, I recently went back there and after a few posts I am asking myself why. Lots of drama and misunderstandings. Its a moderated site, so people can't get away with really bad stuff, but there is a fair amount that goes unnoticed.

I also read Reddit. I posted something this morning in a forum for my city. With in an hour I had a dozen responses and half of them were snarky or sarcastic. I am pretty sure this is against the rules. But rather than make a big deal out of it I just deleted the post. It just wasn't worth the bad feelings I got from people treating me like an idiot for asking a simple question.

So is this just how it is? It seems that people younger than me use social media a lot more than I do. I can't imagine the stress this must cause. It seems like a good idea, but it makes me wonder why people are so awful to complete strangers.

Alice

That sounds annoying and hurtful. I guess people are sometimes comfortable behind an online identity and say things they wouldn't say in person.
I don't think sf is like that if it helps

No, sf is not like that. But we know this is a safe place to be vulnerable. Most places are not safe.

Maybe true. I don't know

@alice202, I’m sorry you’ve been encountering this on other sites, whether or not it was directed at you or at others. It’s not nice to read.

I think “complete strangers” is part of the problem…Anonymity can make cruel cowards brave.

Social media platforms that are popular and have a lot of accounts are going to have a lot of bullies. Some sites are known for being brash and rude. I don’t really understand why some people like the trash-talking sites so much. I try to avoid them for my own sanity.

Here’s an alternative source for “positive news stories” — https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/ I don’t know if readers can post comments, but I like the positivity. I especially enjoyed the piece about the lynx released from a German zoo. 😸

Bravo, you found one of the reasons why the ONLY website I am active on is here. I closed all others - Reddit, Facebook... I use my PC only to "consume" but not to be "active" (except email). I try to keep my personal life personal. Those ones who know me use WhatsApp - end of story. Why did we come to this point? man, 50 years ago there was nothing like this (except newspapers). There is too much information, bullshit, fake, misuse, influence... I do not want to be part of this. My simple life is enough for me. Contact only with those I know physically - that's the general rule. Except here - where people simply understand.

There have been some studies done which indicate an increase in depression and anxiety, this article is about one study.

(I haven't completely vetted it, but it makes sense to me)

https://mitsloan.mit.edu/ideas-made-to-matter/study-social-media-use-linked-to-decline-mental-health

No place is safe from shitty people as long as it's open for public. That includes this website. All it takes for them is to know about it.

You probably have no idea what lengths they will go to just to get on someone's nerves. Be it a streamer, or any public persona, or just a normal person out of the wilds of the internet that hasn't anything to do with their life that got their attention.

I browse all kinds of websites, out of pure curiosity or other reasons. NOTHING in life will surprise me, or shock me.

I'm sorry for genuine people out there who care for strangers only to be fooled by an idiot.

"You're nothing but a toy to me. I will make your friends and everyone in your life think you're a crazy person... <quote of an epic insane post continues>"

Humans, huh?

I wanted to edit my post above but there is some sort of epic system that just gave me a limit for it and after running out I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry for the triple post.

That was a quote of an epic post I read some time ago. Maybe it was directed at me. Posting my ramblings out of boredom.

It takes many forms and shapes. Even real life jobs or websites that are designed with "help for people" in mind, can be a source of enjoyment from sick people that feed of other people vulnerabilities. Imagine how far they go with those masks of "decent people" they are wearing.

So many emotions arise from situations like this. The internet can connect us with so many people, but simultaneously make us feel so disconnected.

I’m sorry this happened to you. People can be awful, and it’s hard to forget there are good people out there too; like the ones on this website. I aways find my way back here because this is one place where you can find sensible people with empathy and genuine understanding.

I agree with Acy about this being a problem with strangers reading our posts. They are callous and judgmental, and there are so many of them across all social media platforms. This makes me terrified to post my mental health concerns anywhere but here.

This website has moderators and it has rules. So any post can be reported (see lower left-hand corner) and removed.

@epicpwner420 — Yes, any website can have people that make awful comments — even on SF. But as @alice202 points out, this site is heavily moderated, and we (staff) take nasty comments, flaming, bullying, discrimination and so on very seriously when staff see them or they are reported to staff by members…as you might have realized when your last post here was promptly deleted because its content although only “quoted” contained a racial slur.

Seriously, no place in the world (real world on online) is 100% risk free. Someone out there could conceivably try to hurt us. Do we take their words on board or find a way to cope with a nasty comment…report to moderators, realize that there are “nasty people who don’t have a real life” out there, stand up to the person with “That’s not [true, nice, appropriate, relevant…]. If we can’t be polite, then let’s not talk or post to each other.”

Knowing there are risks is a reason to be careful…not a reason to hide and hate the world. Imo.

I was just referring to posts saying that gave the feeling that this is a bastion for mentally vulnerable people to roam free unaware. No need to teach me.

I'm of a personal belief that sometimes it's better to hide. With all the "archivers" that archive all deleted or edited posts be it from Twitter or any other service, it really opens a lot of ways for shitty people to navigate with.

@epicpwner420:
1. You posted a comment that is not condoned or allowed here. That is a reason to “teach” — it serves to let you know AND to let other users know that we take the site rules very seriously.

2. You are absolutely entitled to your personal belief about hiding sometimes. I apologize…I agree that sometimes it can be better to avoid certain things, people, places, sites. I was thinking you intended it more globally in your life.

@Acy
1. I don't care. I knew that screencap contained a racial slur, and probably would be removed. You can teach me and ban me if you want.
2. Oh I hide all the time to some extent if possible. My life ended, so I don't want anything or anyone near me. Only white walls are enough.

I would like to bring this thread back to @alice202’s original post so we haven’t stolen it from her. I am sadly afraid that there are bullies in most venues (real life and online) and we have to learn to deal with them, have strong moderation, and know when to stand up for ourselves then just walk away from someone who is being nasty.

alice202, I’m sorry you’ve seen so many nasty examples out there that it’s made you wonder about all of this. I hope that you continue to post in the safe haven that SF offers.

Thanks Acy, I do feel safe here. Its my impression that people think about the effects of what they are saying before they say it. And if something here hits me funny I know I can say something or just realize that I am highly sensitive to criticism, as we all are when we're depressed.

Alice

I can only recommend this site for Internet mobbing via pictures:
https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/de/

It is official and not a 0815 site