Feeling hopeless and scared of my own thoughts

Hello SF.
A little back story — My best friend of more than a decade is moving away (we were neighbours) and I used to see her everyday, I have no friends at my university which I have to go to 4 times a week 8am-5pm, and me and my family will also be moving far away from our current town that we have lived in for 11 years, since I was 10. On top of all that I went to my home country 3 weeks ago to visit relatives and old friends (had a rly great time ;( and I have to go back to Sweden in 2 days to handle all the moving, the ”loss” of my best friend, and the start of university where I probably will feel miserable seeing everyone around me with friends. I am able to go and see my bestfriend that is moving, but not very often, since she has a new friend group and probably will be busy with studies- which I will be too. I have a boyfriend but I don’t see him very often- he lives far away. I have also been struggling with an eating disorder lately.

The problem — I am very scared for what this winter will be like. I have literally NO friends and I don’t know why I struggle with friends. At least I thought I was self aware. I don’t see the future as very bright and I am super scared of what my own thoughts will be like once this all hits me, since I have a history of dark thoughts, in what to me seem like ”hard” times. I think I really struggle with changes in my life. I think I like comfort too much and I’m so scared of the future now. I keep comparing myself to other people with big friend groups and I get so depressed not knowing what is wrong with me. I can’t even go on social media because I get so sad seeing people have friends. And I swear, I don’t expect people to just walk up to me or automatically find me interseting, I know I have to put in effort. I’m scared of the lonelyness I will feel, and the possibility of this triggering my eating disorder. Once my bsf is away, I don’t really have anyone to talk to, or go to for comfort I’m scared we will drift away even if we really try not to. Since she has new friends, maybe it will happen ”naturally”. My boyfriend isn’t really relevant in this issue, he will start studying soon and will make new friends too.

The question — Does anyone maybe have a thought about this? What would you do/think?

#1 your not alone you got us. Two having a threpist helps. Also try yoga church or anything to keep your mind busy. We got your back

Hello Bunny
I think it's much harder to make friends when you commute to school. I think generally people who commute to school get better grades, and people who live in dorms tend to have more friends.
I'm sorry that's happening. You're welcome to say more about that if you'd like to, but it's also ok if you don't want to.
Social cohesion seems to be generally fraying these days. There may be more than one factor for you, but problems with the general social scene are probably part of it.
People with big friend groups don't necessarily have good friend groups. I think often when there is a big friend group the connections typically don't run very deep, especially if people relate to one another primarily or exclusively via the group and not one-on-one. It may seem reassuring to have lots of friends, but it's probably better to have a few really good friends. It may even be better to have no friends than to have friends that are only fair weather friends, or frenemies.
You're just seeing an image on social media, it's an illusion. Maybe to some degree and some cases it will reflect something about reality, but the people who go to great lengths to have appealing pics on their profiles seem to be more concerned with cultivating an image more than anything else. There actually are people who are extremely alienated who are exclusively concerned with generating a positive social media image.

I recall a member here stating that his family was obsessed with taking happy-looking photos at family events, but they were using the photo-taking as a way to prevent underlying family tensions from boiling over into open hostility. The pics were also used to create the false impression in others that they had a happy family.

It's good to have friends, but it's also good to be able to be ok by yourself for a while. Hopefully you can find some opportunities to form social connections, like joining some sort of common interest group.

Sending hugs if you would like hugs

Thank you so much for your reply❤️ I appreciate it. Really hard times right now. Hope you are doing well.

Mr. May, I have to say hats of to you for writing these long, well-thought-out replies to users like me on this forum. It is truly amazing - what you are doing for people you don’t even know. You are an amazing human being. Thank you and hugs to you too! 🌸