I joined here a little over 6 years ago - pre-Covid. My life is worse. The trajectory is completely downhill. Health is worse, finances are worse. The future is scary. I have almost become a shut-in. I say almost because I leave for doctors and the grocery store. That's it. I could have groceries delivered, but I like to see the produce.
I am pretty apathetic at this point. I've developed a neurological issue and the doctors don't seem optimistic. I am dizzy all the time. Stores stress me out, artificial light stresses me out, sound stresses me out. I pretty much can't go anywhere. I cannot swim right now because I might drown. I'm cool with dying, just not the pain.
I've watched some videos online that are addressed to suicidal people. It's essentially 'someone wants to call you, but they can't ', 'someone will go to your room to look for you, but you're not there'. None of this is true for me.
I thought about it last night -- no action because I just don't know what to do. I think about leaving this website permanently, but occasionally I'll come back. A part of me wants to say something against the rules just to be banned.
I don't want advice. This is why I'm in the empathy area.
I am pretty apathetic at this point. I've developed a neurological issue and the doctors don't seem optimistic. I am dizzy all the time. Stores stress me out, artificial light stresses me out, sound stresses me out. I pretty much can't go anywhere. I cannot swim right now because I might drown. I'm cool with dying, just not the pain.
I've watched some videos online that are addressed to suicidal people. It's essentially 'someone wants to call you, but they can't ', 'someone will go to your room to look for you, but you're not there'. None of this is true for me.
I thought about it last night -- no action because I just don't know what to do. I think about leaving this website permanently, but occasionally I'll come back. A part of me wants to say something against the rules just to be banned.
I don't want advice. This is why I'm in the empathy area.
