Venting transtypal vent

transtypal people feel significant, and debilitating to say the least discrepancies between the kind of personality they identify with and the kind of personality they actually display.

i feel dysphoria about being unable to reason with, and not being head in the clouds.

regarding what i know about transphobia and LGBTQ+ rights i feel so doomed

i feel so upset by having my distress invalidated. I imagine not a lot of people enjoy being labelled as dramatic either, but maybe it's more particularly distressing for me in particular because it's contrary to my transtypal identity.

repeated street harrassment is even more painful whem youre a transgender man, not a woman.

Could it be the case that people label you "dramatic" because you are quite dramatic? I can understand wishing to be less dramatic, but isn't that something within your control? If you work at it?

I can see that street harassment would be very painful for a transgender man. However, I don't think it's possible to compare that distress to the distress felt by a harassed cis-woman and say it's worse. Like, it's not a competition.

do you think i am dramatic? be honsst. why?

(i typedentify as the opposite of being dramatic hence being dramatic gives me brain dysphori

What this all sounds like is that you are deeply unhappy/affected by the dissonance between how you react and your own ideals on how you should react. For example you know in a moment that you shouldn't become provoked by some loudmouth individual talking crap about you, you see through it for what it is, but you get provoked anyway. This disconnect between your cognition and your emotional reaction frustrates and distresses you.

You have repeatedly mentioned how this is similar to the dysphoria experienced by trans people who don't identify with their own physical gender. In many cases these transgender persons take action to align their physical gender with the one they know they are inside. This isnt a one and done thing. It takes hormone therapy, multiple surgeries, in some cases laser hair removal and so on. It is a process that takes time and effort, not to mention convincing people to accept their gender identity and suffering those who refuse to.

I mention the "gender reassignment" / "gender affirming care" (or whatever it is called nowadays) because it is relevant to you. To realign who appear to be with who you feel you are, work is needed. For myself (ASD) this is masking. I worked on my mask for 20 years until it was more than perfect, until it was the real me. I was quiet, non-emotive, always frowning, hated physical or eye contact, loud sounds etc. Now I enjoy partying, chatting to strangers and smile broadly. Far from being uncomfortable with physical or eye contact, I find it comforting.

My point is this. Venting is good, I am a BIG advocate of venting, ask anyone :P, but to correct a perceived flaw inside yourself even if its aspects of yourself not aligning with your identity, you have to accept it and work at changing it, and this form and community is ready to help you if you have questions, and likely already posted discussions on this in its many threads. (I know I have found help here personally).