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Venting i typedentify as emotionally unavailable and detached

3nufk1n.sheepies

autistic apoxian eastern european toker
#1
Advice i get from internet strangers hurts my feelings
"no one cares nowhere near as much as you do"
i feel so bad whenever i see someone better dressed than i am in public
i was on the phone in lidl i did NOT state "im in lidl call me back later" because im such an idiot
shame is everywhere. i feel embarrassed to buy so much food.

i have spent months and months severely triggered, hellish psychological pain. Pregablins the only thing keeping me stable.

people in public talk to me and make fun of me and total strangers knock on my door for no reason

my self worth depends on being as ratiomal detached calm as possible but everything denies it.
everyone is ridiculing me for panicking easily and that makes me suicidal. someone approached my door and claims japanese knotweed is growing in my garden. i think theyre secretly ridiculing me for panicking over everythimg and making a big deal out of small things and being irrational, which hurts like hell because its identity violation.
 

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