I feel ugly

I feel disgusting with all this acne on my body, like a gross monstar. I don't feel like I'm a handsome boy, I feel like ugly mess that no one should look at. I get nervous when people look at me, I'm all lanky and skinny. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a body, that I'm not alive. No I especially want to give up and spend all in bed. Unconcious is nice like being dead. Every day for the past year, I wake up sad to see another day.

If this makes you feel any better: I'm 40 and only now have I become in any way happy with my body, hair, face and really my overall "aesthetic state" in general.