Gestalt prayer

This statement has been helping me lately. I hope it will help you too.

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.

— Fritz Perls, "Gestalt Therapy Verbatim", 1969

Source

I didn't find any mention of this on the forum, which I found strange. I'll tag people because I think it's important, as it helps.

Some tags: @puffymilk @JMG @AmberMarie @Lane @Witty_Sarcasm @seabird @may71 @SushiGirl @LumberJack @Road to Nowhere @KM76710 @MagickLynx @FFurry @Shelly @AvidFan @Mid Night @Inastorm @cymbele @Angie @maybeicanheal @1Lefty @SillyOldBear @1964dodge @IRE1992 @Mid Night @Baywasp @Auri @Licorice @Gonz @HappyKitty @Fbr27 @Kiwi2016 @Reality @Atreides @Shinzon1 @JanisSPK

If I have forgotten anyone, and you consider this statement important, please tag the people.

Made me think of


“There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved.”

― Charles Darwin, The Origin of Species

"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations, neither are you here to live up to mine."

That's Peter Tosh, part of the lyrics to "I Am That I Am."

It made me think of that.

Beautiful, thank you for tagging me here @Gard and for posting this. I find that quote and the other ones posted after to all be very comforting and reassuring for sure.

I definitely get caught up in a lot of silly, unimportant nonsense with some of that stuff sometimes. This has been most helpful in refocusing, thank you again

Thank you for posting this @Gard. It's very uplifting.

Thanks for this @Gard
This strikes a cord with my situation, where ive had a relationship breakdown. For me, adding to this, it is also having the encourage to be disliked by other people and especially the other person i care about.
Its taken me a while to understand that and i still dont like it but i need to accept that they dislike me and probably hates me. And while i dont agree with the reasons they dislike me and i feel these things simply didnt happen, none the less, im left with the fact that they do not like me and i have to have the courage to be disliked.

Wow - I had not thought about Peter Tosh’s music in forever. The old school reggae music is my favorite. It’s hard to find on my music service however.

Sounds fine for person to person relationships with no power differential. I am thinking about the case of, e.g., a customer-vendor relationship. When I am paying someone to help me, I feel like I should have expectations and standards of performance, and when these are not met, to seek redress.

I’m paying for something, and if I get something very different (and worth profoundly less than what I was promised), I don’t think that holding the view that no one is obligated to meet my expectations is particularly soothing. There are situations where it is healthy for both parties to hold each other accountable for holding up the other’s end of the agreement.

I’m not saying that you meant the above in the sense of expecting accountability, but I do see this reasoning applied in situations where it amounts to victim blaming, and so I have a raw nerve about statements that could be interpreted this way .

I'm glad it's helping.

It sounds very much like a non-conformist perspective, which, if you're a non-conformist at heart (and I think I am), it's very affirming.

I have always agreed and lived the same. I know it has been put up many times over the years and is one of the basics of Libertarianism and Objectivism which are both how I live.

I really like that, thanks for sharing.