I feel so alone

For fours years I've been depressed and for the last five months I've been suicidal. I don't know what to do. I feel no numb again. What is the point in living on?

I'm sorry you're feeling suicidal and have felt bad for so long.
Things are bad now, but they won't necessarily always be like that. Pretty much everyone who is suicidal feels that there's no way out except suicide, but usually that's not true.

Going from being suicidal to not feeling suicidal usually takes some form of change or treatment or the passage of time. It is possible though and happens all the time.

Watch some TV shows. It'll make you feel better for a while. But it won't solve the problem.