Ideas & Opinions Conflicting desires

• Would probably wear band shirts all the time drawing of drawing attention to myself.
• Like mostly cult films and alternative music etc. but want to be 'normal' .
• Have tried /made progress multiple time towards going back to university always withdraw at last minute because simultaneously crave security and stability.

Anybody else share the above or similar?

Oh yeah, it seems like social anxiety I'm my opinion. Its like you are a extroverted person, but the traumas of the social life shunned you in. You want to be part, but are afraid of failing again.

I think so...
I wanted to be a mother at 30-31ish, i always had thought of it that way. Ever since I was in middle school i had it planned. And all of sudden I decided I wanna go to medical school. Im in my 2nd year now and will graduate around 29-30. A newly graduated student who lives abroad and has NOTHING from herself is most probably not ready to have a child lol. So i kinda f**ked that dream up, although im gonna be 30 in 5 years and i hope its still possible. Funny thing is, i yet have to find the dad.

I wanna be a strong independent woman sometimes, but i hate it most of the time. I wanna be somebody's princess. Im in med school but think of becoming a stay at home mom. I wanna be hugged and have everyone be kind to me and pay a lot of attention to me but i escape to a really quiet library everyday to be away from everyone then end up crying bc i feel lonely. In general you might say im a spoiled brat. But tbh i dont think i care. I may be even a bit proud of it, the only bad thing is the mental unstability bothering myself.

Option number 2 is one I can identify with. I have so often like cult films more than the mainstream and more popular ones that are out.

The cult films are the best. Mainstream studios have just been pumping out schlocky franchises that go up to 7, or 8 movies (btw I think movies are made to make money, while films are an expression of artistic vision).

I mean, let’s be objective. The Fast & The Furious, for example, jumped the shark in Tokyo Drift, but the studio kept rebooting it forever. Don’t get me wrong, Vin Diesel is drool worthy and that’s why I keep watching them. It’s just entertainment though.

My favorite cult films are the Evil Dead trilogy and a French film called Delicatessen. It’s set in a post-apocalyptic dystopia, but it also is a brilliant take on the human condition, flaws and all. Plus the videography is gorgeous.

I forget what I was on about, but I am off to pull up trailers of Vin Diesel movies, lol.

The Fast & The Furious is one where I got to the point of what the hell? The first one, street racing and the folks in it pulling heists, sound like good action. Fast forward a bit and the movies went way crazy where the team were now like James Bond types tackling world wide domination by criminals like Blofeld and Goldfinger.

Only saw Delicatessen a couple of weeks ago on MUBI I can confirm it's quite good, have yet to see any of the FAF.

I love cars and practically anything with a gasoline engine larger than the lawnmower engines. So I watched the F&F as what I called “car porn,” because it’s like, holy crap! He’s driving around in a Mitsubishi Evo! And there goes a Honda S2000!

The main character shows up in a Skyline early on, which is the predecessor to the monster Nissan GT-R (RIP), which has an engine roar that is practically my favorite sound I have ever heard. Granted, all that is dated now, but I still watch it for the cars. Also for the silly stunts where they crash into something at 80 mph and just walk away like it was a speed bump. That became absurd to me after I learned about soft tissue injury from rapid deceleration. Also I find the Iron Man movies by Marvel utterly silly for the same reason.

IKR? That’s why I said they jumped the shark on the 3rd one. I knew a left turn (ha!) was coming when the whole movie was mostly different characters and only at the end makes a tangential reference to the original story. Also the main character performance was as wooden as my antique rocking chair, and the character was painfully unlikeable.

The "car porn " seems like watching a band/musican biopic becuase you're thinking "They're about to write and rlease song X in the next scene!" so I can releate.