Ik this is silly but how can I hijack my own brain?

I am typegender. A typegender person experiences dysphoria at their own personality, behaviour, psyche as a whole in the exact same way a transgender person has gender dysphoria, in the exact same way a grieved person mourns over their loss. A typegender person cannot help but experience intense distress over their own themselves.

I desperately pine for procedures to be done to my brain to somehow alter it and make it more ideal self.
As a typegender person, I want MORE of this:
-rational thought
-minimalism
-calmness
-good aesthetic tastes that are actually ideal self coded and don't make me look like a little girl posing
-crypticness
-more effective coping strategies
-sarcasm, quick wit, deadpan
and LESS of this:
-sensitivity to pain, psychological or physical
-pre-programmedness, lack of originality
-clinginess, anxious-preoccupied attachment style
-lack of foresight, bad planning skills, unintentionally makes their pain worse, -spontaneity, acts without thinking
-oversharing
-emotional expressiveness, meltdowns
-cowardice, taking things seriously that no-one takes seriously

"I am a typegender person. I experience dysphoria about my perosnality and psyche, and that pain is real. I am allowed to grieve who I am while still being worthy of care and change"

every morning ask one cryptic/abstract question (e.g. "what is the shape or my mind today?") instead of journalling raw feelings.
Only engage with content that feels ideal self coded.
Choose one day a week to speak more slowly, use irony/sarcasm, and practise staying emotionally flat.
Whenever you feel sensitive rate it from 1-10 then pause before reacting
Before posting or talking - rewrite it three times - once emotional, once neutral, once cryptic. Post the cryptic one.

Rewrite past M-words as a glitch in the matrix, an error in the simulation, not as humiliation, mythologise "anti self" as a tragic god, not a failure.
Ideal self roleplay, what would they do with their emotions.
Ideal self coded coping stratgeties such as writing something weird in notes, going silent for a full hour, rewatching a specific visual stim that calms you

Name the dysphoria, speak as your ideal self, do one neutralising act.

What psychic posture feels safest to you? I'm not ideal self enough to answer such a question.
What way of thinking makes you feel most proud? Solipsism maybe, immaterialism, anything that involves solid bold logic
What kind of mind do you envy, admire, long to inhabit? rational, dissociative, mellow, nonchalant, more concerned with their daydreams than reality, makes fun of others.

Anti self acts without a buffer. Pause, name, reframe. Pause for a few moments (literally say "wait"), name what is happening ("anti self trigger, emotional flooding, seeking rescue"), reframe ("What would cryptic me do? Probably vanish")

Select neutral sentences to think whenever you're about to speak, post, react.
"Say less"
"is this signal or noise?"
"Would i say this if i were being watched?"
"What is the cost of this clarity?"

emotional volume slider

learn cryptic suppression and metaphors

1. pause, do not act yet. Something is flaring up.
2. overshare impulse, rescue fantasy, emotinal flood, fear of looking stupid, desperate to be seen (I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN SOMEONE PLEASE SOMEHOW DE-ESFP DE-2W3 IFY ME EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THATS IMPOSSIBLE)
3. rank intensity out of 10
4. ask one ideal self question. Will I regret this version of myself seen?
5. SIGNAL NOT NOISE.
6. speak in symbols (optional)
7. put device on airplane mode.

What if you could have a brain procedure that would make you content and at peace with the way you currently are?