I have so many fantasies about it..

I have so many fantasies about being raped and abused. I feel so bad about myself but can't stop these fantasies in my mind..

I think rape fantasies are fairly common, I don't think you need to feel bad about it. You're not contributing to actual rape or harming anyone by having fantasies.

It doesn’t define who you are, and it’s okay to explore why these thoughts come up without judging yourself. Maybe talking to a therapist could help you understand them better and ease the guilt you're feeling.

hi, I would like to ask something of course if you're okay with it,
have you ever been abused? if yes then do not beat yourself up over it. I learned that on here I just recently posted almost the exact same thing as you did, ever since I was abused from a young age I would have fantasies about being abused..I have always felt guilty because of it. and its crazy because I was as young as 8...feeling this way
if you haven't been abused, maybe you could talk to someone you trust completely about this. it could be a result of underlying trauma involving sexual abuse or not..but im not so sure.
all I know is you're strong and we both got this. I relate a lot to you in this post and I want you to know you're not alone <3

As May said, rape fantasies in women are actually very common; recent studies suggest over 60% of women fantasise about it. Lots of possible reasons are talked about - some of those reasons involve a history of having been assaulted or abused but most of them are about being able to experience sexuality without guilt. For me, as someone who has always felt (and almost always been treated as being) extremely unattractive, the most "obvious reason" is that the fantasy embodies the idea of someone wanting you "so much he can't help himself".

Obviously the reality of rape and abuse is nothing like being sexual without guilt or feeling desired etc - I'm sure there are a lot of psychological nuances I'm not qualified or well read enough to comment on, but I think the important part is that a rape fantasy is, by definition of being your fantasy, actually consensual. You choose the time, the place, the person and exactly what is happening, how it is happening... at every single point. The fantasy might involve a lack of consent but in reality a fantasy itself is kind of peak consent as you literally choose 100% of it. I have no idea if I'm making sense here. My point is that a rape fantasy is FAR FAR on the other end of the consent "scale" to actual rape.

The main thing, though, is that you have nothing to feel ashamed of and you are far from alone.

uYeah I guess they're common.I like to be abused, tortured, and completely dominated by a sadist like some kind of a slave in my fantasies . I don't know maybe it's masochism. And I don't like to go to a therapist because I think they will eventually wipe the whole thing out of my mind and I will eventually end up with some boring, normal fantasies.

No I have never been abused. I'm actually a complete virgin. I have never even kissed someone. I'm not desirable and attractive too. I've always look so small, childish, and skinny. I always look 14.

There are certainly some therapists who bring agendas to therapy other than the best interests of their clients, and that includes imposing there own political and social views. If you find a good therapist though, and make certain that they will not try to impose some view that empowerment is the only option for you, then I think you would be safe. Even if a therapist were to try to push an agenda, you'd probably recognize that end therapy. Beyond that, I don't think a therapist would even be able to exterminate your own wishes even if they tried to and you continued to make appointments. Maybe they could try to guilt trip you or something, but I don't think that would work, and presumably a therapist wouldn't even try to do that.

The movie 50 shades of grey was a big hit, and its audience was almost exclusively female. Your fantasies are probably a lot more common than you think.

It seems your in the same boat as me, my ocd gives me these thoughts, but im also innocent, i still get shy when girls look at me. I get eyes on me but none stay, its the curse of being tall and skinny.

I think it has more to do with the fantasy of it all which is why some things really should just be fantasy because in reality we don’t want the real thing because I don’t think that’s what it is about it is the fantasy of what is in books or what we have seen or heard about but what we know we would never want in reality.

Being afraid of something - be it being raped or being bullied or physically attacked: I know this from my past. I made a point to that when I was in my 30ies with Judo. Once I was fit (after 2 or 3 years, green belt) it all stopped. Strange I always think that others somehow "smell" our weaknesses - as they "smell" when its different.

To be short - your reaction is completely normal and most probably based on experience. But you can do something to get better or out of it.

I'm 26 years old. I do still have these fantasies. I think they are becoming part of who I am. I'm just a low self esteem person who doesn't like herself,suicidal and obsessed with self harm. I don't know if it's normal or not. But I guess I've been lonely so long that I can't even understand what's normal what's not normal.