As reference long story short as a kid my father died, I was neglected by my mother, and age 12 to 18 I was overly sheltered in the foster care system.
It's such a pain other generation Z making fun of you, and meanwhile embodying the kind of person you wish you were because it would massively enhance your ego, and at the same time the older generations they may generally speaking sympathise with you more but just give you vague outdated and rather meaningless pointless advice.
too "dumber" "uglier" "cringier" "laughing stock" for generation Z, too "intelligent" "well-spoken" "articulate" for the boomers
It's the flynn effect. Or human evolution, survival of the fittest. Of course, as rule of thumb not necessarily always the case, middle aged and elderly folk look like pretty much ants to those under a certain age. (but like I said with exceptions such as when adults warn you about "50 year old odd creeps posing as teenagers" internet safety kinda shit)
I remember how at the kids home there were a few incidents of the other kids they would sometimes scream and laugh hysterically at 3.00am making fun at the staff running away from home doing drugs getting arrested etc etc etc. The staff would tell me "You don't do that, you're nice and obedient, because you're smarter than them" or something, I think it's the other way around, in fact I am the idiot by failing to realise how flawed the system was myself and failing to come up with ways of making fun of it (especially as quickly as they did), if I was never so intellectually inferior in comparison I would have never been bullied so much by literally all of the other young people.
The older he got the more withdrawn my brother came. Whenever I managed to speak to him (I was like the only person he'd ever be willing to engage with) he'd go on and on about his adjectives "simlike" (human behaviour that is evidence we're in a simulation) and "sluglike" (aesthetically speaking, black and curvy like a slug. behaviourally speaking, slow and lazy in an embarrassing way (like weird ugly curvy devices that require less effort than the nice looking angular ones category of laziness thats more of the aesthetic than behavioural category but never fucking mind as long as its an example of SLUGLIKENESS)), he'd poke holes in what I say (making me feel extremely ashamed) and he'd offer unsolicited comments on how "simlike" or "sluglike" my behaviour was. Now I am very insecure over everything about myself- the way I speak the way I look my pastimes my mannerisms like everything pretty much.
For example it's simlike and uncool to not like the 2000s, find the 2000s ugly, be indifferent to the 2000s, like older decades but not so much the 2000s etc (because on reddit generation Z is obsessed with the 2000s apparently). I respect everyone's different aesthetic preferences, it would be insane of me to explicitly ridicule anyone for whatever decades they like the most, I do kind of like the 2000s but it would feel weird actually embodying the 2000s aesthetically myself my first instincts are to like 80s/90s (and early 2000s) more but by doing that i am automatically inevitably a black sheep in an embarrassing way to the rest of generation Z
For example it's simlike to sleep from 11.30pm to 9.00am every night
For example it's simlike to wear polo shirts as contrasted with something less simlike such as hoodies
I also noticed how with time he became increasingly cynical towards me, I felt so distressed because it felt like a major threat to my identity, I also noticed how with time his way of writing text messages had changed and becoming more and more inventive and with also longer times to wait, making me jealous.
If I tell my psychologist about this, he's like at least 40 odd year old wears tight long sleeve polo shirts with pointy leather shoes and a lot of his vocabulary makes me cringe, I get nowhere, all I'd get is "this boy never leaves his room!!! don't listen to him!!!!!!!!!!! you need to go to bed early you need to eat healthy you need to use manners and you need to stop doing drugs and stop using internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you can still wear the clothes you want and read the books you want and watch the Tv you want!!!!!!!!!!" that kinda thing.
I'm just confused. I don't know where I stand.
it's like the pain a sinner would get in hell, if catholicism is even valid in the first place (too afraid to say such a thing in front of fellow people my age because I know Ill get ridiculed, but I cant help it), the more time progresses the more the world comes to a halt the more I get treat like the complete opposite of how I wish to be because I am indeed perceived that way in comparison to everyone else that is more and more the way I'd like to be with time
more introverted
more rational
more dissociated from the senses
more chronically online
better aesthetic choices, in ways I never ever ever expect
less of a BMI
less simlike
less sluglike
etc etc etc
everything I want to be
(the pain of being more extraverted than everyone else considering you speak to therapists in person, venting and oversharing without restraint and feeling stimulated by such an experience, meanwhile everyone else your age is just quietly using their devices)
It's such a pain other generation Z making fun of you, and meanwhile embodying the kind of person you wish you were because it would massively enhance your ego, and at the same time the older generations they may generally speaking sympathise with you more but just give you vague outdated and rather meaningless pointless advice.
too "dumber" "uglier" "cringier" "laughing stock" for generation Z, too "intelligent" "well-spoken" "articulate" for the boomers
It's the flynn effect. Or human evolution, survival of the fittest. Of course, as rule of thumb not necessarily always the case, middle aged and elderly folk look like pretty much ants to those under a certain age. (but like I said with exceptions such as when adults warn you about "50 year old odd creeps posing as teenagers" internet safety kinda shit)
I remember how at the kids home there were a few incidents of the other kids they would sometimes scream and laugh hysterically at 3.00am making fun at the staff running away from home doing drugs getting arrested etc etc etc. The staff would tell me "You don't do that, you're nice and obedient, because you're smarter than them" or something, I think it's the other way around, in fact I am the idiot by failing to realise how flawed the system was myself and failing to come up with ways of making fun of it (especially as quickly as they did), if I was never so intellectually inferior in comparison I would have never been bullied so much by literally all of the other young people.
The older he got the more withdrawn my brother came. Whenever I managed to speak to him (I was like the only person he'd ever be willing to engage with) he'd go on and on about his adjectives "simlike" (human behaviour that is evidence we're in a simulation) and "sluglike" (aesthetically speaking, black and curvy like a slug. behaviourally speaking, slow and lazy in an embarrassing way (like weird ugly curvy devices that require less effort than the nice looking angular ones category of laziness thats more of the aesthetic than behavioural category but never fucking mind as long as its an example of SLUGLIKENESS)), he'd poke holes in what I say (making me feel extremely ashamed) and he'd offer unsolicited comments on how "simlike" or "sluglike" my behaviour was. Now I am very insecure over everything about myself- the way I speak the way I look my pastimes my mannerisms like everything pretty much.
For example it's simlike and uncool to not like the 2000s, find the 2000s ugly, be indifferent to the 2000s, like older decades but not so much the 2000s etc (because on reddit generation Z is obsessed with the 2000s apparently). I respect everyone's different aesthetic preferences, it would be insane of me to explicitly ridicule anyone for whatever decades they like the most, I do kind of like the 2000s but it would feel weird actually embodying the 2000s aesthetically myself my first instincts are to like 80s/90s (and early 2000s) more but by doing that i am automatically inevitably a black sheep in an embarrassing way to the rest of generation Z
For example it's simlike to sleep from 11.30pm to 9.00am every night
For example it's simlike to wear polo shirts as contrasted with something less simlike such as hoodies
I also noticed how with time he became increasingly cynical towards me, I felt so distressed because it felt like a major threat to my identity, I also noticed how with time his way of writing text messages had changed and becoming more and more inventive and with also longer times to wait, making me jealous.
If I tell my psychologist about this, he's like at least 40 odd year old wears tight long sleeve polo shirts with pointy leather shoes and a lot of his vocabulary makes me cringe, I get nowhere, all I'd get is "this boy never leaves his room!!! don't listen to him!!!!!!!!!!! you need to go to bed early you need to eat healthy you need to use manners and you need to stop doing drugs and stop using internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you can still wear the clothes you want and read the books you want and watch the Tv you want!!!!!!!!!!" that kinda thing.
I'm just confused. I don't know where I stand.
it's like the pain a sinner would get in hell, if catholicism is even valid in the first place (too afraid to say such a thing in front of fellow people my age because I know Ill get ridiculed, but I cant help it), the more time progresses the more the world comes to a halt the more I get treat like the complete opposite of how I wish to be because I am indeed perceived that way in comparison to everyone else that is more and more the way I'd like to be with time
more introverted
more rational
more dissociated from the senses
more chronically online
better aesthetic choices, in ways I never ever ever expect
less of a BMI
less simlike
less sluglike
etc etc etc
everything I want to be
(the pain of being more extraverted than everyone else considering you speak to therapists in person, venting and oversharing without restraint and feeling stimulated by such an experience, meanwhile everyone else your age is just quietly using their devices)