Family is dying off

Today I learned my favorite aunt died yesterday. She had been ill for quite some time and had gotten really mean in the past few years.

The past two days I've been thinking about her a lot. I hadn't talked to her since Christmas and she couldn't talk. She was in the hospital and struggling to breathe. I sent her a text a couple of weeks ago but didn't get a response.

The last two days I kept thinking I needed to call her but I was afraid because I knew it might be the last time. I didn't want to jinx things. I knew things weren't right though because we communicated on a regular basis. We lived on opposite sides of the country.

My phone rang this morning and although there was no name, I knew the area code. It was my cousin calling me to tell me she died last night.

She was sick all the time but had no interest in dying. I just don't understand any of this. Her home was the only place left that I've been able to visit since I was born. It's the end in so many ways

I'm sorry you lost her.
Being sick can do that to someone I think, it's too bad it was like that.

Hugs Leesa

Sad to hear of the loss. It is one of those things that is bad for anybody at any time. With the exception of my uncle and aunt all the remaining family of mine is my age thereabouts(61) and younger and most of us with our ailments.

My sister in law mentioned to me that she and her friend were talking about the older generation leaving while a new is being ushered in. That's not true for me. I don't have kids who I'm celebrating and I don't have a spouse. I don't have any really close friends. I have my two brothers but one is focused on his family and the other one has damaged himself so much from drinking that he doesn't remember a lot. The family history is dying. My aunt wanted to live even though she was sick. I think mostly because she had family that took care of her. This is not the case for me. I'm just on my own and struggling. The day my mom died I just sat at home by myself.

Sorry for your losses @Leesa

@Leesa - I am also sorry for your losses. Grief is a beast.

Were your family too. Don't forget maybe church or yoga can meet some nice people too