… is that I was already on disability for having bipolar disorder, ptsd, and agoraphobia.
On the one hand, thank god I already had it. I can’t imagine dealing with social security on top of everything else. On the other, exactly how much can one person be expected to take.
I’m trying very hard to maintain tight control over myself and my emotions. But I feel the bad headspace coming on. It’s what I’ve been told is a “mixed episode,” the feelings or thought patterns of a depressive episode, with the energy of a hypomanic one.
You’d think knowing what’s going on would help, right?
Before some well-meaning person tells me that my control is part of the problem, and to let go of it, that’s exactly how I ended up [I’ll edit this myself and save the mods the trouble: methods]. I’ll let go of it again when I don’t need it anymore.
I feel like things have had time to brew and ferment while I was busy with other things.
And the only thing that ever calmed me down was time. But time with Jessica made it go faster. Sometimes her talking me down, but mostly just spending time with her. As long as she and I were okay, I could deal with everything else.
On the one hand, thank god I already had it. I can’t imagine dealing with social security on top of everything else. On the other, exactly how much can one person be expected to take.
I’m trying very hard to maintain tight control over myself and my emotions. But I feel the bad headspace coming on. It’s what I’ve been told is a “mixed episode,” the feelings or thought patterns of a depressive episode, with the energy of a hypomanic one.
You’d think knowing what’s going on would help, right?
Before some well-meaning person tells me that my control is part of the problem, and to let go of it, that’s exactly how I ended up [I’ll edit this myself and save the mods the trouble: methods]. I’ll let go of it again when I don’t need it anymore.
I feel like things have had time to brew and ferment while I was busy with other things.
And the only thing that ever calmed me down was time. But time with Jessica made it go faster. Sometimes her talking me down, but mostly just spending time with her. As long as she and I were okay, I could deal with everything else.
