I don't like sex

I don't know why but I just don't like sex. I was sexually assaulted. How about you?

Hello. I'm truly sorry that happened to you. Iv been sexually assaulted twice when I was 10 then 17 by 2 of my female friends. Sex is always the last thing on my mind I avoid it thr best I can..

Sending hugs. Being an asexual person is also okay in my mind. I hope you feel better and better.

Hey Thank you for the hugs dame goes to you my friend. I honestly cant think of having sex its annoying when I have to tell girls that I'm not sleeping with them then they get all angry and mouthy. When I was 17 2 of my closest female friends spiked my drinks to have sex with me cos I was telling them no for over a year even after i told them what happened to me when i was 10 but obviously they didnt give a shite. Sorry I'm just venting.

How are you you doing ok. You dont have to answer but how long ago did that happen to you. Again I'm truly sorry that happened it honestly hurt my heart knowing you went through that. Did you get any type of help/therapy etc. You dont have to say anything about it. 😊

I was sexually ab*sed both inside & outside the home as a child & young teen. I'm not into sex either. I like cuddling, though.

I don't like it very much either. Nothing wrong with that. Unless you are trying to procreate.

Well, because of what happened to me, I find it dirty & painful. So, yah, not my thing. Thank you for your thoughts.

My understanding is that it is fairly common for survivors of SA (sexual assault) to find sex in a non threatening situation unpleasant. It’s a normal trauma response. The opposite extreme also happens.

mm well, i've only had one person i ever enjoyed it with and i think it happened because i knew this person loved me with some sort of obssession and deep trust and i was in full power and all. If i get nervous i don't feel a thing. Getting in the mood is very important too. At least now we can say no one can force us anymore? I hope? i am so happy i am not a child anymore and will never be one again at least in this life and that one of my abusers died, while the other runs away from me probably is scared that i will tell or something. At least he is ashamed enough to escape me.

FWIW, I was deliberately vague here because I wrote down some things about my own experience, but it looked like it would be triggering.

I wanted to add that I am not a survivor of sexual abuse, but I was regularly sexually harassed/bullied by certain adults in my teens. My relevant experience with survivors of SA is that I was in a long term support group where I was one of two people who were not survivors of childhood SA.

This experience led to me having many intimate conversations with these survivors. They were all men, due to the nature of the group, and they experienced hyper sexuality. So I don’t know if this is a gender thing, or not, but that is what I meant by saying the opposite extreme also occurs.

I just wanted to clarify that I come from an outside perspective, but I do have a degree of context due to making friends in that support group.

With the right person you love and trust it may be different

I was once with someone I loved very much, but with basically all my partners, I still felt that I had to pretend I wanted to do it just to please them. I don't blame any of them for that, since they couldn't have known. I wouldn't tell them how I really felt because I feared damaging the relationship. But a lot of the time it was painful, awkward, felt dirty, and involved things I didn't want to do. And for that reason, I wasn't too fond of it and barely ever wanted to even try.

I am very sorry this happened to you, but know that whether you change your mind or never like sex, it is perfectly fine. Don't ever do anything you don't fully want to do.

I'm a survivor of CSA at home & outside of home. I associate sexual intimacy with physical & emotional/mental pain. So, I'm afraid of it.

Well, I had incest in my family and a situation, when I was 19 or so - a female doctor age 65 gave me "heroin substitution" (which was strictly forbidden at that time - 80ies) against sexual favors. I had no other choice. I try to imagine what you feel and can fully understand that physical love is just out of question. But now, look - I am old now and all this is many, many years behind me. The world has changed so have I. Today love does have a complete different meaning for me. Its not sex, - it is absolute trust, harmony, honesty, caring - everything that is good. Even an occasional fight - it will end in peace. We share everything, we have everything together, we do everything together.... Sex has become a way to only show physically what we feel. It is not the "sex" which you can get everywhere, at any time... I hope you find this one day.

It may just be hard for you to find friends who respect this at the moment. If you want to continue to live with this feeling is up to you. Some of the things of our childhood / teens will never leave us - they are so deeply engraved in our mind that it is very, very difficult (impossible) to repair them. Unfortunately it seems its more common and happens more often than we all think - but people rarely speak about it. Search for a group with similar experiences - there are plenty.

Maybe this is why I liked the film "Thelma and ******" so much.

I think it's understandable if you are abused you will struggle and wish to shut down. It's a coping mechanism after the most serious form of violation has been done to you. I wish those who harmed the most vulnerable were kept away from society forever.