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I think I was groomed?

planmywedding

Well-Known Member
#1
I was 15 about to turn 16 and I have some undiagnosed mental health things which I had written a journal about on quotev.
This guy reached out one day and said he was interested in people like me and had never met anyone who experienced life the way I do. For some reason, I indulged, sharing bits of my life and eventually adding him and mainly communicating with him on Twitter, the ONLY other social media he had. He offered me his phone number but I didn't have a phone at the time so I didn't get that. He claimed to be about 20 and his birthday was supposedly August 20th or maybe September 20th. He also claimed to be a psychology major in college, which (having taken a psychology class and still being stupid as shit) I now know means practically nothing.

We talked for awhile, often about my obsession with a girl id been bickering with for years, which he would enable and even went as far as to hunt down her old unlisted YouTube videos that she'd hidden from her channel when she found out I knew about them. In hindsight, no grown adult should be offering to do something like that.

At some point I think he asked me if he could write poetry about me. I don't specifically remember that question or my answer but I was a kid so I was probably like "idrc". Some weeks later he sent me basically a love poem. I found it weird and he reminded me that I said it was ok but that he would stop.

Right when we'd met he said his name was one thing. However over the course of our speaking terms I became increasingly paranoid in my personal life and decided to ask him again what his last name was. Lo and behold, his answer changed! I pointed out that last time he gave me a different last name and he said "oh that's my middle name".
He ghosted me a couple days later.

Having abandonment issues, this bothered me a lot. I continued to text his dead Twitter and quotev accounts for like 3 years and once the pandemic hit I eventually basically said "don't die from covid.. or do, idc" and then stopped finally.

His accounts remained up until what must've been the last year or so bc they are now gone but they were up relatively recently. I'm assuming he went through and deleted that shit.

Thinking back on it now, Im pretty sure he was trying to groom me. Unfortunately for him I was extremely uninterested and repulsed by anything sexual and would react badly to any form of "positive" relationship stimuli no matter how far he went to validate my feelings. But I still had dreams about him for years and thought about him a lot, mostly worried for his health, but now he could be a John doe in a river somewhere and I would never know or care.

The only evidence of this I have is a couple screenshots of our conversations.
It's a weird life.
 
#2
There's an obvious problem with someone over 18 sending love poems to someone under 18. I guess there's probably a spectrum that ranges from really dangerous aggressive groomers to lonely and inappropriate but mostly harmless adults. This guy sounds like he may have been on the less dangerous end of the spectrum, but it's still not appropriate for an adult to be sending a 16yo love poems.

It sounds like you have a mix of feelings about this. Like actually caring about him, but also knowing he was doing something he shouldn't have.
 

UrbanRose

Well-Known Member
#3
I think may71's post, above, is very much on point. I would agree that the love poem was not appropriate. It does sound like "grooming" to me, in that he got you to care about him . . . by making you feel he cared about you. My overall impression is that this guy was kind of creepy and his interest in you was not entirely wholesome.
 

Brokendownwreck

Well-Known Member
#4
I'm afraid they are lines .Usually they do that because they are looking for attention at that time. Usually they already have a girlfriend or baiting and contacting at least six other impressionable who they feel will bite their baiting lines . He may have been older than 20 when you pulled him up on a discrepancy he thought it was getting too complicated and ghosted. Unfortunately internet can be dangerous because anyone can lie and pretend to be someone they are not. People think if it's only over internet they are safe but it isn't because they can really get into someone's head and the younger the more impressionable. He did you a favour ghosting you as very inappropriate approaching you if he knew your age.
 

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