There's a scene from the movie Lawrence of Arabia that I've been thinking about lately. Lawrence puts out a match with his fingers. This doesn't seem to bother him. Another guy does the same thing, but it is obvious that the flame causes him pain. The guy asks Lawrence what the trick is. Lawrence says, "The trick is not minding that it hurts." I always liked this scene. It suggests a good trick to dealing with pain, whether emotional or physical pain. The trick is to allow the pain to do what it's going to do and not react to it. The more you react to it, the worse it hurts. It's like an itch. You can scratch the itch, but it will just spread. When we have negative feelings, we have to remind ourselves that the feelings will eventually go away. In the meantime we have to let the pain run its course. If we repress the pain, it will come back double. It's okay to feel feelings. The only way to get the feelings out of our system is to feel them. Don't fight the feelings. Don't focus on them. Just let them be.
There was a study that wanted to see which was more effective at improving people's moods and general life philosophies ... (1) more positive thinking, or (2) less negative thinking. It turns out that the people who did the "more positive thinking" thing were much worse off than the "less negative thinking" group.
Middle of the night I woke up and went into the deeply painful emotional mode which happens at those times. The pain was so intense I just gave up, and let it be. As soon as I did that - which wasn't with intent, I was just overwhelmed - the pain dropped off suddenly. I even felt I could make some decisions which may be helpful.
I think this is what you are referring to @JDot ?
I think this is what you are referring to @JDot ?
