I’ve had a fairly good mental health day today.
Yesterday and today, I was able to reframe the hopelessness and helplessness that had been festering in all that trauma -- the hopeless and helplessness that keeps my mind saying maybe I kill myself and maybe that's okay -- and tell myself that I am no longer that helpless 10-year-old girl who suffered multiple traumas and that I am a strong, competent, capable woman. My success rate at reframing these unwanted thoughts is still quite low, but progress is progress and today I used this technique to shower and cook and clean and take care of myself in a meaningful way. I wasn’t just pushing through the pain. I felt like I relieving my pain.
I’m still skeptical that I’ll ever be okay, but perhaps today was a proof of concept. And I guess the concept that I can relieve this pain is proven, and maybe I can find hope.
Yesterday and today, I was able to reframe the hopelessness and helplessness that had been festering in all that trauma -- the hopeless and helplessness that keeps my mind saying maybe I kill myself and maybe that's okay -- and tell myself that I am no longer that helpless 10-year-old girl who suffered multiple traumas and that I am a strong, competent, capable woman. My success rate at reframing these unwanted thoughts is still quite low, but progress is progress and today I used this technique to shower and cook and clean and take care of myself in a meaningful way. I wasn’t just pushing through the pain. I felt like I relieving my pain.
I’m still skeptical that I’ll ever be okay, but perhaps today was a proof of concept. And I guess the concept that I can relieve this pain is proven, and maybe I can find hope.
