Venting (Help) Not feminine enough

I feel like I have no worth, no value the way I am, I have nothing to show, I'm not preety or inteligent or cool or anything really. I feel undesired and really repleaceble. I try to not let it show, but really. I'm constantly aware of how ugly I am.
I feel unhappy with my body, with myself, I wish I was more feminine, more cute, more sexy or at least charming, but no, I feel as feminine as a log. My body type makes me feel like an old latin grandma. I can't find clothes I like that fit me, I can't like my own appearence, I hate the way I look and feel like I don't appear what I really should be.
I wish I could appear like a gentle woman that I feel I am inside, something soft, but no, I'm physically a big ugly mess of muscles and fat.
Do you girls understand that feeling? Like I can't be part of society the way I am. What is this feeling?? Its horrible and depressing. And makes me feel like I should discard myself.

I think I understand what you're saying

I hope it's ok to reply here,, I'm male, and had the opposite problem, in that I didn't appear masculine. My height and body structure,
even my face, were more feminine than I wanted. It led to a lot of bullying in school, and othering in early adulthood. Eventually, my features became more masculine, and I also stopped caring as much, and accepted my difference, there wasn't anything I could do to change.

I don't know of a solution for you, but I feel for you. I think your body is still developing and in time, your body and features may change and become softer.

You're not alone here

peace

I'm always welcoming comments, ty 💕❤️
Sadly I'm almost a decade past my teens 🤣😭 but yeah.

hugs if they help

Your body is fine and lovely just as it is. Bodies are amazing and unique things, beautiful in their own right. I am an artist and see this so clearly, but it's hard to put into words. The feeling of not being part of society is stuff that gets put on us, fed into our minds from society and especially from toxic b***sh** on social media and advertising. It's a huge and archaic bunch of beliefs, some of which we notice every time we feel the male gaze on us, or look in shop windows at the displays of clothing which we're supposed to pay for, so that we fit into the expectations. It is all a bunch of crap, really. We are responsible for taking care of our body in the way that suits it best and feels happy for it. Choose to defy the negative judgements. Work out or at least get some movement every day if possible. We have a right to find grace exactly where and who we are. I hope you find balance and confidence.