Childhood

I’m super traumatized from things that happened to me over my tween and teenage years. I don’t know if I want to post more of the story, but it was mostly beatings in the name of discipline. It happened at random times so I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong half the time. Today in middle age, I am finding that the effect of the trauma is catching up with me and feels pretty bad.

I’m mainly posting this for the sake of parents who might see this. For the sake of the children, please please please don’t use corporal punishment to correct your kids. It will only make them feel worse when they grow up and realize it’s not okay.

Jack I am so sorry this happened to you. Me ma n pa hit me only once each n I still remember, cant imagine how hard it is when it happened all the time. I wish you process it as pianlessly as possible. Have you heard of Mate Gabor? Some of his stuff on trauma is very powerful n helps in healing.

I'm sorry this happened. Do you feel like there's a path to recovering from the trauma?

I have read the book “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts”. I have a pdf of Scattered Minds, but I haven’t read it yet (how appropriate that a guy with ADHD would not get around to reading a book about it lol)

I will see what I can find.

Yes. I am recovering. It hurts at first. I was numb and now it’s like puns and needles.

Oh Im glad you have those. Tbh, I borrowed from me sis When the Body Says No and still have not got around to open the first page because my attention span is not that great so totally get ya on the Scattered Minds remark

I am sorry you, and me and anyone else has to deal with trauma. The book suggestions are great. I also got, and continue to get help from The Body Keeps The Score, by Bessel van der Kolk.

Coming from parents it's overwhelming and destructive of the fragile and vulnerable beings. Given it's happening to those who the grown ups are responsible for, I can't no see that there are huge broken elements, which are supposedly basic to society.

Sorry for the rant.

hugs

I have the body keeps the score. I got 120 pages or so in and it is good but I find it triggering so can only get into it if I feel okay.

Yeah, understood. Sometimes I can't stand it, just get so tired of dealing with the intrusive memories and thoughts. The author John Bradshaw had a book called Healing the Shame that Binds You. It's pretty old, but still has relevance. A therapist loanded me their copy, so I don't know if it's in print anymore.

I have that book on audio. I have finished it but it was a long time ago. I have a 60+ minute drive ahead of me so I can get back to it

*pins and needles!!! pun was unintentional
lol

So I started listening again to the Bradshaw book on Audible. It’s off to a very slow start. I have learned a lot about mythology and the history of shame across times and cultures, but with respect to positive shame, for the most part. I’m not a psychologist, so I’m not so interested in the theory part. I do like an overview of the theory, but comparing and contrasting various perspectives on shame is not helping me today.

I have listened to the book before, so I get the difference between toxic and healthy shame. I am going to fast forward a bit and see if he gets into any information that I can act on.

Just noticed something. I also could definitely benefit from learning about positive shame, especially as it relates to sexuality. Not just the physical act, but also the other dimensions of expression. For some reason I just don’t understand why people are so uptight about our bodies, or so interested in controlling what other people do with their privates. I wasn’t born with that aspect of shame, I guess. I have always felt oppressed by the requirement to wear clothing. Which is not to say that I run around naked today! I understand now that this is a total no-no, but I still don’t understand why…

I can understand the lack of understanding. People need to get over themselves and concentrate on living their own lives and not worry about how others are living. Unless someone is harming or hindering myself or another I say go for it and take your joys as you can find them. I will do the same for myself.