Adulting

I recently moved out of my fathers house and into a place of my own. It's been a mixture of good and bad, up and down. I recently have had experienced panic attacks, even in the most normal of places, which have gotten worse recently. I moved onto citalopram, but frankly, these made everything worse for two weeks, and even though I still have problems, I feel better for not being on them for two days.

I'm keen to make the best of my situation, although I have my demons. I have social anxiety, which my medication made worse. My therapist told me I have a block of ice in my head, which I struggle to break with people. However, today, I saw a supermarket employee reducing items and managed to go up and speak to her, albeit briefly, and had a laugh and went on my way. Would I have the confidence to know that I would have been able to make this kind of interaction beforehand? Absolutely not. My mental health charity support worker has told me I worry about how people perceive me, and I am carrying around a big spot light on my life, but people probably don't see me the way I think they do. I think I am probably capable of damn well anything, but am constantly doubting myself.

Like I said, I'm keen to make the best of my situation, but haven't been so great so far. I'd like to get a nice job, get a gf etc. Run my house and run my house, feel happier, and move in a more positive direction in life. I don't wanted to be dominated with negativity anymore. I got an old friend who I bumped into, who said I should come to his pub for a drink sometime, and I want to, just my anxiety hasn't made me confident enough to do it. Yet.

Hello, just wanted to say i understand about doubting yourself constantly, i do that too and worry a lot of what others think. They are hard habits to break. I hope you're able to go out and have that drink sometime soon, perhaps you'll feel so relieved at going that you will have a good time.
Hugs @JB107