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Ideas & Opinions Why is my mother like this???

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#1
Every time I'm stress with my parents, I always do miss my grandparents a lot. They do not know how to communicate to me at all!

Its pathetic!

My mum can't be disciplinaring me in a way by pressuring, guilt trip, telling me what not to say, not allowed to have feelings, getting emotional or feeling "being rude" with little stuffs I denied her, she's not always all right or she's not the only one to be allowing to have her own opinion. I deserve to voice out or stand up for myself and make my own decisions, she's controlling as heck. I do believe she's wrong for always pestering, wanting me to do things immediately like all at once which I know I do that to myself not to others and even telling her "one at a time" gently, she finds it rude even my dad has warned her to calm her loud-aggresive tone when instructing her kids and she denied my dad. Its laughable. My parents be needing my help a lot yet they'd still favour my brothers more.
 

Lekatt

Love Cats Love All
SF Supporter
#2
It is hard to speak about an individual when you don't even know them. But I have some thoughts on this matter. People who see life as fearful tend to be more controlling. They are micro-managers. The more they can control, and this includes people and other things, the safer they feel. While people who look at life with love, not fear, are more open and accepting of others.

The fear is usually caused by their upbringing and environment. Everyone should try to understand how their early teachings shaped their lives and work to change what they don't like. Fearful people watch the news for things that agree with their fearfulness. They may read "true crime" books or watch TV shows on crime. They believe the world is a scary place and they are constantly in danger. They live behind locked doors and some may be afraid to venture out.

There is a flip side to be being fearful and controlling. One can be loving and helpful to others. It usually means they have a meaning in life beyond gathering money and property. They tend to be spiritual in nature, not religious, spiritual.

You really can't force anyone to change their thoughts and actions, so just try to understand them as they are and hope they will come to learn life is their choice. What they think and believe is entirely up to them. It is called enlightenment. I wish everyone the best life possible. Just don't give up there is always a better way.
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#3
It is annoying yes. i did try to understand them yes. I am never close to my parents so I overheard her on the phone with her friends that she said, 'she can be forgetful about how her kids have grown older and she admits she couldn't control her nagging, intruding habits.' I'm happy I heard this, that she recognise that cus, just because we understand her- or anyone who controls/ purely bad intentions, it doesn't give them the right to have authority to control everything. If we let that, it can deter our wellbeings so my brothers and I overtime and over the years have learned to ignore her cause we actually know what is right for ourselves. The more we listen to her, the more we try to "understand" her, the more she'll takes advantage and we do not one that. Its stupid. If she can't control being controlling, I have the right to control her whether she likes it or not and I never cared if whatever I denied, talk back- everything is rude to her. Girl, you can't force me to be healthy and happy all the time. She is the same.

She can't control or change herself, we control her like how she's doing to us. There'll always be boundaries. Like everyone deserves boundaries, cannot ignore.
 

Lady Wolfshead

wishes you well
#4
Kitty, you might want to look up some information on setting healthy boundaries. My mother is extremely difficult and I've talked to therapists/counsellors about how to deal with her. It helped a lot
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#5
Kitty, you might want to look up some information on setting healthy boundaries. My mother is extremely difficult and I've talked to therapists/counsellors about how to deal with her. It helped a lot
music to my ears nha😺

come share your experience on how you practice this 😺
 

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