When Menopause is Hell :( Any other women going through it want to chip in?

I used to be a reasonable person. Sure, I had depression, but not wild mood swings - well maybe once a month when I had PMS.

For me, menopause has been like having PMS all the time!!! I mean, I know it's not the same for everyone. My best friend didn't even get hot flashes. Bitch lol. She never got bad menstrual cramps either.

It doesn't help that it's such a taboo subject. It's like back when I hit puberty and suddenly saw all the sexism in the world --- now I see the ageism and the combination of ageism and sexism. Anything about older women is considered yucky. You rarely see an older woman on TV unless she is being mocked, a villain, or in a minor role as someone's Mom or Grandma.

I'm on HRT which has helped. But there are side effects and one for me has been uterine hyperplasia which is no fun at all. Been put on a varying dose of progesterone to essentially make me have periods again and shed the excess lining. I want to come off HRT, but I'm scared of getting the mood swings again.

Even thought the HRT helped with the major mood swings, I still have minor ones. Every few days I've been having a type of panic attack where I feel overwhelmed and desolate. I think it may be when I forget to change my estrogen patch (or when it has been 4 days - since I use 2 a week, I change one after 3 days and the other after 4).

I'm waiting for some major life changes which will happen in the next few months, and then I plan to reduce my dose of HRT.
Anyone else going through the roller coaster?

I feel like that teacher in Ferris Bueller (if you're my age you'll get the reference). Anyone? Anyone?

I can’t help you as I have already gone through the “change “. During menopause I got divorced lost my job and had a teenager. And I was”too emotional “. That drove me to suicide and then I found SF. But I never had HRT.
just a little message to say I heard you Even if I can’t help. And yes, Ferris Bueller was a fun movie.

It's absolutely shite. I'm not quite there yet, still having regular periods but what was once a minor monthly inconvenience is now a scene from a horror movie. At 52 I've been having hot flashes and night sweats for around 6 years with no sign of letting up. My sex drive goes from 0 to 60 and back again with frightening speed, much like my mood swings. The hair on my head has thinned as quickly as the hair on my chin has increased, sleep is elusive unless medicated and the fog in my brain is now almost as thick as my waistline.

I hate it. I feel old and shriveled and dried up.

Yeah my hair has thinned quite a bit as well although luckily it was very thick to begin with. Sorry you're going through the hot flashes and night sweats - they suck. Have you thought about HRT? And I would love to get my sound, restful sleep back.

@Sunspots, that sounds awful. I’m sorry it’s taking so much out of you. I was going through something similar, I’m the same age as you, but finally agreed to have a coil fitted and at least monthly is not the horror show you describe any more. Might be worth looking into, as anaemia can be a real problem.
Menopause sucks, some people seem to go through it no problem, others it’s a nightmare. I have a horrible suspicion I have a lot worse to come. I take multivitamins for menopause daily which seemed to have helped with the hot flushes a little.
Anyway, just wanted to say @Lady Wolfshead, I hear you. Sending hugs to you both. Xx

I had breast cancer a few years ago so they won't let me have it despite my begging.

@Holding my breath first of all I tried the progesterone only pill which did nothing, even upping it to two per day. Then I had a coil which did reduce the severity but I bled for three weeks out of four. They kept telling me it would settle but after a year I gave up and had it removed. My GP has given me tranexamic acid but I really don't like taking it - the first time I took it I had a really odd sensation of being totally paralyzed that lasted for a few minutes. It's probably not even connected but I've been scared to take it since.

Lady Wolfshead. I’m now truly “menopausal”, not “going through” the changes. Most things improved a lot or completely settled. It just took some time. You will get through this, despite how you might be feeling these days. I hope it settles down soon for you.

Menopause is a pause in life for sure. Lose hair, fatter waistline, insomnia, depression, anxiety, night sweats, chronic fatigue but that maybe the ptsd. I think we all were not meant to live past 50. Now with health care we can live to 100. Not to sound morbid but why postpone the inevitable? Why push to live with health problems, blindness, crepe skin, balding, joint pain, cannot do stairs, etc.? Makes no sense.

Menopause brought me to this forum! Especially menopause-related depression, anxiety, and insomnia ... I finally found a health practice with a female, middle-aged GP who specialises in menopause and I was doing great-ish - until she unexpectedly left! I'm crestfallen. I feel like I'm trudging through thick fog. I can't see where I'm going, barely holding it together but always maintaining a façade (just as well, given how dark my thoughts can be), three steps forward two steps back it's never ending, and I'll be menopausal with continuously decreasing oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone for the rest of my life ... So, now I've been given an appointment, with a locum GP, for MID-MAY!

@Lady Wolfshead , when I joined the forum you sent me a message beginning, "When I hit menopause it hit back!" Those words made me smile (when I needed to smile), but they're also worryingly true. It's wonderful to read a thread like this, women sharing information/experiences about menopause, so thank you for starting it x

welcome to the much undesired club

Vitamins for menopause sounds like a good idea. I'm planning to reduce my HRT soon, and will look into it.

Thank you! I really hope so too.

Yeah it's tough being the gender that is generally considered less desirable with age. Grey hair seems accepted in men yet puts us in the "old lady" category.

I'm curious about others' coping strategies. How do you raise your morale? How do you keep your mind active? How do you stay feeling relevant and vibrant?

Personally I write fiction so that is something that definitely keeps my mind sharp. I do occasionally lose words, but not too often. Also my job is very meticulous (insurance adjuster). And I am interested in technology and plan to learn more about computers when I retire at 55. I plan to learn computer maintenance, troubleshooting and even programming. I am really looking forward to taking classes and also devoting more time to writing.

As far as physically keeping healthy - weight is an issue for me. I am currently losing weight so hopefully can keep it up. I want to lose at least 50 pounds eventually and take up strength training.

As far as appearance, I didn't use a lot of makeup when I was young but I am using more now and loving it. I have rosacea and have always had bad skin (the one kind of makeup I used when young was foundation/concealer). I watch YouTube videos about makeup for older women. They are great!

I do dye my hair but I do it a shade lighter than it used to be and I think that suits me.

Anyway, if anyone feels like talking about the good side of aging... I'm here for it!!!